Decompression

OK yes I (Cheryl) am still in Canada for those that did not know. I have had more to pack in than expected so I am here for a few more days.

I can't explain how strange it is to be here. There are many things I notice. The streets are so clean, the traffic orderly, the houses colourful. The people have so much free time.

What I mean by this is, people sit down after supper just to do....nothing! Watch TV, surf the net, share a cup of hot chocolate, talk. I realize that after the earthquake there is not a lot of this going on in Haiti. You just don't do nothing just to do nothing! It reminds me of the story Joel Percy told of the time he climbed a hill in Africa just to see what was at the top. The locals thought he was crazy that he did not have a "purpose" to climb that hill.

This serenity, this lack of concern, this worry free time, is something that I envy, but also something that makes me concerned for the blindness of many. I am not sure if that is good or bad. The bible promises us suffering if we pick up our cross and follow him. It is this fact that I have held on to through the past 2 months and for that I rejoice and miss Haiti.

I have been slowly decompressing over the past 2 weeks. The other day I thought I was ready to take a look at some of the internet videos and news coverage of the earthquake. For 30 minutes I sat glued to the screen and relived the moment. I saw videos of the inside of a house shaking that reminded me of what I went through, I saw video of people trapped in a grocery store which reminded me of my grocery store that collapsed killing everyone inside, I saw video of people flattened by buildings that I knew, I saw people being pulled out of rubble like patients I treated. I saw hundreds die like the stories I have seen and heard all around me. I held it together and went on with my day.

Later that night I was driving home and for no certain reason for no certain rhyme, I started to cry. Not just cry, but weep. I have not wept since I was 16 years old. I wept hysterically for about 20 minutes. I had difficulty catching my breath. I let a lot of anger out but mostly sorrow, pure sorrow. It felt good. I needed it. I still have tears in my eyes as I recount this, but I am slowly healing. It is not over yet.

In Haiti, rebuilding people's lives at Mission of Hope is just starting. We are moving forward regardless of the destruction. We are staying true to the plan of reaching Haiti for Christ.