Miracles

Those of you who are in the health care field and are also Christians may have also struggled with Matthew 17: 20-21 before. This is where Jesus chides his disciples (current day....us) for having so little faith that they cannot heal a boy that is having severe frequent seizures. He tells them that if they even had the tiniest of real faith, that of a mustard seed, that they could move mountains at will.

I have often struggled with this verse and have always flipped back and forth on whether this verse is literal or figurative. Before coming to Haiti I camped on the figurative side. It could not actually mean that they could medically and scientifically heal anyone in Jesus' name if they just had enough faith that God would do it! Since coming to Haiti, I have flipped back and forth. In times when I could not cure a patient with my prayers or hands, I have thought, well it must be figurative and other times in the same situation, I have felt like God is screaming this verse at me that I just needed to have more faith in him.

I still struggle with it but let me tell you why I am learning to trust God more and more and why I am learning to put my faith in him fully...........

Last week in church a lady visiting from a Christian choir in PAP, started to get a huge headache. She almost collapsed in the church. They lead her out, but before doing so, they prayed fervently over her for healing in Jesus' name. I have to be honest, my faith was not great that it would have done anything. I did not leave my seat as I figured she had just gotten lightheaded from the heat and in a few minutes out in the open air she would be fine. She was not. After leaving the church the headache got worse and she collapsed. She was rushed into the clinic and our visiting anesthesiologist and cardiologist went to work on her. I knew she was in good hands and by the time I got there, she was lying peacefully. The doc then told me that she was completely unresponsive and her pupils were dilated and fixed. She was breathing fine but she most likely had suffered a small bleed in her brain.

Her story is as follows. She had a concrete block fall on her head in the earthquake and ever since she has suffered from intense headache and she has not been able to see out of her left eye well and has had blurry vision ever since. It had been getting progressively worse.

So as I enter the room, she starts to respond to pain stimulus and starts to talk, but her pupils are still non reactive and she states she cannot see a thing. We conclude that her small bleed in her brain has progressed to the point that it is taking away her vision completely in both eyes. Are there other possible diagnoses, sure, such as a tumor, but the bottom line is the same. She also still complains of severe headache. It is not likely with our lack of CT or MRI scanning abilities or lack of neurosurgeon in country that day that she will ever regain her vision. Her condition remains unchanged over the next hour or so. We feel helpless.

As we all work on deciding if there is another facility that is better equipped to monitor her, her choir starts to pray outside. They all surround in a circle and cry out to God for healing in Jesus' name. The girl lies there quietly praying. I recall praying myself but my prayer revolved more around God help me to find a place that can take care of her, and, God help her to be able to live with this in a country like this etc. After calling all around, no one will take her and we decide to keep her here. The doc sits quietly in her room while he waits for us to take her up to the ward later. I go back to orienting our new medical team from the states.

Suddenly my radio squawks. "Dr. Cheryl and Sarah, the patient can see! The patient can see" I actually physically looked down at my radio, not sure that is actually what I heard and I asked him to repeat it. "The patient can see!". I rushed back to the bedside and sure enough her pupils are reactive and she is looking around. She had all of a sudden sat up and looked the doc square in the face with normal pupils and he said shocked, "you can see me can't you?" and she breathed "yes!". I held up fingers and she got them all right and chuckled joyously that she had no double vision for the first time in 6 months. Her severe headache of 6 months was gone! Her vision restored!

From that moment on, she started to sing. Her voice was incredible. She was singing to God beautiful worship songs half laughing, half crying with her eyes closed. Every now and then she would peak to make sure she could still see and with a chuckle, she would close her eyes again and continue singing to the Lord. Nothing else existed at that moment for her except her and her beautiful saviour. I stood holding her hand humbled as I had witnessed a true miraculous healing that made no scientific sense. She had at least the faith of a mustard seed. That I know. She believed God would heal her and He did.

And hence, my struggle with Matthew 17: 20-21 continues and I nowadays lean toward the literal side. Ok I lean a lot to that side, but have a hard time fulfilling it. I pray that God gives me the strength to have that kind of faith. That I will not lean on myself but on Him.